Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sotomayor and the Transcendental Obama

By Individualist
“The Purpose of government is to limit the needs of its citizens from the involvement of the government.”

Everyone has been buzzing about comments made by Mrs. Sotomayor that are exclusionary. Some have called them racist but the problem with that is it assumes that being “Latin” means one is of a particular race. Anyone that has been to South America as I have would understand the ridiculousness of that statement. South America is as racially diverse as North America. However what struck me as the real problem with the statement was not “racism” but “religious” bigotry. Not the bigotry for one Religion as a whole but of Religious idea……….. Reincarnation.

That’s right Mrs. Sotomayor how do you know the past lives I have lived!

After all could not I have been a noble warrior riding with Sitting Bull in the Little Big Horn, a slave in chains, a roman centurion, a peasant in imperial Japan. Could you not come from a long secession of past lives of privilege Mrs. Sotomayor. I demand to know when will I get reparations from those who have bullied and victimized me in a past life. After all the sum total of my past lives is probably much longer a span that the pitiful 40 years or so I have lived in my current incarnation. Lady, Who are you to so assume what lives I have lived. Now that’s discrimination for you.

I know there are those naysayers out there that will say Indy, every time you want to win a class argument you cannot just assume that you were in a past life in a situation where you were more of a victim. It does not work that way and even then the eastern religions state that who you are in this life is dependent upon the accumulation of Karma in the past.

Ah but then would this not prove my argument. If I am a privileged rich white male in this life with advantages that I don’t deserve because I have not earned them through the experience of being poor earlier in my life, than does it not logically follow that the universe has granted me this exalted position by the accumulation of good Karma by being a victim in my past lives. See by the power of liberal circular logic either way I win.

Besides this Karma notion assumes that there is a Buddha, a Vishnu or a Celestial Heaven that guides the universe and that is the same thing as God. That is religious concept that the PC (Plato’s Chosen) Guardians who approve society’s proper ideas in the transcendental realm of political existence have deemed blasphemy and not to be considered by the politically enlightened.

Richard Dawkins tells us there is no God and therefore there can be no bank of Karma to make “Fair” the successive lives we will be granted. The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi tells us that we must live through successive planes of existence until like him we reach the seventh plane of enlightenment. Reaching the vaunted seventh plane of political enlightenment comes with a Yacht in the Mediterranean as he had, just ask Al Gore. It’s one of the perks for being correct on Global Warming. Since they are both pop culture liberal gurus it must be so.

Based upon this there is an inherent unfairness to the Universe that even the utopian ideas of our grand and glorious Obamasaviour cannot rectify. The Horror!

Don’t worry even as we speak the realm of greedy little goblins who work for Rahm Emmanuel in the underground complex of the white house are figuring out a way to take this injustice and turn it into a tax. Once the details are ironed out I am sure that a Justice Sotomayor will approve this policy. I will try to explain it to everyone below.

The private sector already has the answer in the Reincarnation Bank and it only follows that by writing draconian laws our Obamasaviour’s Nephilim (the democratic led US Congress) to bankrupt them. Then the Obamasaviour can give them a bailout and the government will own it. (According to sources at the Northwest Creation Network the root word for Nephilim comes from Nephel which means: "untimely birth, abortion, miscarriage". Thus this is a good name for the US congress. It is even backed up by Hindu thought. In the Hindu text Garuda Purana 5 it states that the destroyer of embryos becomes a savage full of diseases. Look at Barney Frank, I rest my case.)

What is the reincarnation bank you ask? It is this ingenious plan made by people, obviously relations of Bernie Madoff, where you can wire money to this Swiss Bank account and they will invest the money and see to it that you get it in your next incarnation. (No joke this website gives an IBAN number and instructions to make deposits which I won’t post here). So now can you see the potential benefits to the neofascist progressives that currently control the White House. We will have a tax like social security where the government takes all our money and promises to pay it back to us out in our next life. This will also eliminate the conservative argument about indebting our children since they will be us anyways. Thus we can have Utopia for all our existences and not just right now.

Ah but you ask how they know who we were in our past life. Well one can research this through past life regression. This is where by hypnosis you “remember” your past lives. Now I know you science types out there will point to studies that say that past life regression memories were found to be problematic because while the individuals remembered the minutiae of their lives as a Japanese fighter pilot they somehow could not remember the name of the Japanese Emperor in 1940 despite the fact that a Japanese Fighter pilot at the time would have considered him to be a living god. You would also point out that in these sessions the individuals remembered events occurring at times that do not coincide with actual history. Well you science guys I watch Michio Kaku as well and I know that according to string theory there can be “alternative” universes so if someone is remembering the wrong facts of history it can only be because the past life was in another parallel universe. At least until Barney Frank and Chuck Schumer decide it is not.

Thus we can have the government set up a new division of the Census called the Bureau of Past Life Regression where the extant of past lives can be evaluated and the appropriate good people shall be compensated. After all should not Karma be decided by the Obamasavior and not some silly religious construct.

We heard that Tim Geithner was very excited by this plan. When asked how it might work he stated that while the administration did not have any details we do know that it is crucial to save our economy.



Auguste Ballz said...

This is absolutely wild! I've gotta read this a couple more times.

CMB320 said...

Can I go to the Reincarnation bank, get a home equity loan on my future mansion (I've got excellent Karma) and write off the interest on my 2009 1040? Oh no, I think I just made the tax code worse! Great post

Auguste Ballz said...

I wonder if one day we will have a "League of Future Reincarnated Women Voters" who will register the future reincarnates so they can vote once with this incarnation and once with their reincarnation. Talk about a voting demographic the Dems will go after!

Individualist said...

CMB320 Thank you for your kind comments.

Douglas Adamsw stated in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "The problem with time travel is "tense". How do you explain the thing you did ion your past that won't happen until next week. What verb tense do you use. This is the problem with the IRS. They will figure out a way to tax your future earnings now. I am an accountant, I know these things.

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