Sunday, June 7, 2009

A Capitalist’s Life for me …………

By Individualist
“The Purpose of government is to limit the needs of its citizens from the involvement of the government.”

Hello Boys and Girls today the topic is one that is of great relevance to liberals of St Arrrgustine, Florida. A calamity of such epic proportions is brewing, that it’s like has only been documented by the great Roman scholar and poet Juvenal in the 1st century BC in the Sixteen Satires.

Recently the Folio Magazine did a Hit piece on people in the Oldest City in America for assuming that the history of Spanish Colonial Florida had room for shows about pirates and privateers. Let me take you through the loops of circular liberal logic in the article shown below to explain why Pirates are no longer Politically Correct. Let me explain below:

I am of course referring to the people who dress up as pirates and privateers to reenact great naval battles, study the events of famous swashbucklers and learn of the history of Pirates and Privateering and of course imbibe in libations. It seems the tourists of St. Arrgustine Florida have been allowing themselves to be entertained by people adorning themselves as Pirates without knowing that since some Pirates in the Gulf Aden almost embarrassed the One that such mannerisms have been deemed Politically Incorrect. Beyond that, these people are actually profiting from their predatory bourgeoisie activities. For you Mouth Breathing, Tea-bagging Conservatives out there who have not yet learned to speak “Socialism” this translates roughly into plain economic English as “making a living”.

The Folio weekly a local rag that gives out its paper for free that is picked up by readers primarily for the advertisements but has strewn within it the typical marxofascist rhetoric that is being brought to reality by the current administration today. The Folio is like many weekly free papers that attempt to delineate themselves from the ones you actually have to pay for by being “edgy” and fill themselves with obscure liberal political cartoons attacking “conservative” thought which is so set in zeitgeist of socialist dogma that they are incomprehensible to someone that lives in the real world. Typically one picks up the paper only to look through the various advertisements and notices to find out if any interesting is playing at the local theatres. They try to be relevant by including exposes on local issues that the main Northeast paper the Florida Times Union may have missed.

St. Augustine itself is known as the Ancient City and can boast that it is the oldest incorporated city in the USA. It has many historic landmarks including the Castillo de San Marcos and Fort Matanzas built by the Spanish in the 1600 to 1700’s. It houses Flagler College and the Lightner museum. The tourist district of Old Town has restored cobblestone streets and buildings set in the Adobe style of the Conquistadors and a decided Spanish colonial faire. The city has several shops, restaurants and parks that make a day there very enjoyable. They have the Ghost Tours and Train rides that are fun. They also house “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” museum. There are the typical Florida tourist shops selling everything from Sand Dollars to plastic beer mugs.

In the June 2-8, 2009 the article “Pirates Attack” by someone named Karen Pound featured an expose on the popularity among the tourists and locals of Old Town St. Augustine of “Pirate” themes including enthusiasts that like to dress up as pirates and privateers and hold reenactments of famous sea battles, tourist shops with “Pirate” themes that sell Pirate paraphernalia and the piѐce de rѐsistance evidently is the Black Raven, which according to the article is a 72’ Spanish Galleon converted into a diesel powered cruise ship that offers short Pirate themed day cruises filled with singing, magic tricks and a little history of the Privateers of St Augustine. Principle players interviewed include Ollie Mackerel, William Mayhem and Blackbeard of the Black Raven, Scott and Mia Brewer of the A1A Aleworks who dress in Pirate garb shown in the opening picture of the article and Tiger Lee, another entrepreneur dressing as an Oriental pirate. All people that make their livings off the tourist trade in St Augustine.

The author of the article to be known in Short Hand as KP evidently is upset that these people are polluting the cultural landscape of St. Augustine with their presence and decided to take what could have been an investigative article detailing the tension among city planners between the need to maintain the city’s historic significance and the need to generate dollars via the Tourist industry especially in these hard times, ended up being one extended ad hominem attack at times little better than the Trolls lurking at Big Hollywood that occasionally come out with their incomprehensible insults.

The article starts the insults by lamenting the tip jar aboard the Black Raven is empty, demeans the performances’ content as cliché, calls the actors second rate, explains the pirate themes are tacky and not befitting the “history” of the city and even besmirches their appearance as unattractive because “Pirates” had gaudy fashions. We note that plastic conquistador helmets and T shirts somehow do fit in with the history of Spanish colonial Florida as they are not likewise singled out for ridicule. Maybe that’s next week The timber and content of this part of the article is so crass and mean that I need to add no more to the mess of the cleanup duty done by KP.

So what have the Pirates done to the Obama administration that one of the ancillary stooges of the MSM liberal news networks’ clinger-ons had to come out to attack them? A few choice phrases are telling and I think the themes can be described as follows:

One) Pirates were Evil and they Stole so they are like Evil Stockbrokers who advised people to invest in Credit Swaps. So by default are the people who play them on TV. They are Bad I tell you!

“The fact that pirates have been romanticized in the modern era probably has less to do with their inherent marketability than a Western appetite for plunder and predatory economics (credit default swaps, anyone?).”

Now I guess old Indy should do some research on this. Wait a minute, do we remember the Corporate Raiders of the “Permanent Assurance” of Monty Python’s “A Meaning of Life”. Has the Pot shown us that KP scrapped something off the Kettle that bears interest here?

Is John Cleese behind the Nigerian Prince ”give me your bank account” fraud schemes. You have to admit that does sound like something they would dream up for a skit.

Well KP’s evidence that this is so is that the Black Raven crew have a tip jar and thus are performing authentic high seas piracy. Yes I can see it now. Capn Kidd swings from a ship’s mast unto the fore deck of a French Merchant vessel and assaults the enemy captain by holding out a tip jar because that takes real acrobatic ability, years of hard work. Oh! The Fiend!

But wait a minute didn’t KP say the tip jar was “critically” empty. Also, why pray tell does the Folio have eight advertisements alone in body of the article itself. How is that not commercial exploitation? Oh our terrible western values. Isn’t liberal logic confusing? Man, I need to self-medicate in order to understand it. Perhaps Ollie has some grog he can spare. He looks like a man you’d like to have a drink with.

As to the reason for “Piracy” being made popular is western desire for Plunder would the author of Treasure Island Agree?

“It is perhaps a more fortunate destiny to have a taste for collecting shells than to be born a millionaire.”
- Robert Louis Stevenson

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. “
- Robert Louis Stevenson

2) All your corporate commercialism is ruining the historic relevance of Old Town St Augustine. How will we educate our Children. Boo Hoo Hoo.

On Pirates the article states:

“But Robert Hall, a historian, for Flagler College art professor and retired Colonial re-enactor of 30-plus years, disagrees. He maintains that St. Augustine history — including Drake and Searle — is rooted in privateering, not piracy. Not only is the current spate of dress-up pirates historically incorrect, he says, it flies in the face of what the city stood for.“They would have been in chains,” says Hall of pirates.”

To the list of Pirate who attacked St Augustine we are forgetting John Davis mentioned by John Esquemeling on pages 56 and 57 of his book The Buccaneers of America(

Ok so a Spanish colony obviously never had any Pirates on its premises because the town folk that would have lived there would have put them in chains. That is if they could have raised a militia strong enough to corner and defeat them I guess. But members of the Black Raven speak of privateers. Since St Augustine was the victim of two historical assaults by Francis Drake and Robert Searles at two separate times so the article has commented:

“Not all nations recognized the legitimacy of privateers (Spain, for one, was known for executing privateers with their letters of marquee prominently displayed on their bodies). And not all privateers limited their activity to “legitimate” attacks. But privateers have muddied the waters, historically speaking, particularly in St. Augustine.”

Ah there we have it the Spanish government did not use Letters of Marque and Reprisal then so obviously the whole thing is historically inaccurate. Must be so because a historian Art School Professor who dresses up in Spanish Colonial garb which of course is not used as exploitive of History in Old Town said it is so.

From the website ( we note that Spain utilized an entire fleet of Privateers at one time.

“Jacques Colaert was a privateer who was active from the city of Duinkerken. He was also known under the name of Jacob Collaart. In August of 1600 he sailed as part of a fleet of ships that was commanded by the Vice-Admiral Anton of Burgundy, Lord of Wacken. The fleet was comprised of six vessels of the royal Spanish privateer fleet and six private privateers.”

The list of Duinkerken privateers is lengthy.

But somehow that may be enough to convince KP Indy, you need a source she would have to recognize as credible. Hmmm…… How about that vaunted refuse of liberal thought, the New York Times.

The Article is headlined as “Spain to Use Privateers”, dated April 24, 1898, and in it lists the decree of war upon the United States of America by the country of Spain which lists article number 4.

"Fourth - The Spanish Government, upholding its right to grant letters of marque, will at present confine itself to organizing, with the vessels of the mercantile marine, a force of auxiliary cruisers, which will co-operate with the navy, according to the needs of the campaign, and will be under naval control.”

Mind you this is significant because Spain herself signed the Treaty of Paris in 1851outlawing the use of Privateers. It is interesting to note that America has not Utilized Privateers since the War of 1812 with the exception of the Goodyear Blimp Resolute in 1942 which had a Letter of Marque to search for Japanese subs off the coast of Los Angeles despite the fact that we are not a signer to this treaty and have no law against it.

But the Spanish they did not like Privateers except of course their own. In that regard they are like Al Gore when it comes to taking care of the environment. It is hard to understand “Socialism” isn’t it. Ollie I am going to need more of that Grog.

3) This is terrible! All these people dressing as Pirates and the real Pirates are next to come I know it. Why can’t the Gubmint do something about it!

“There’s no tourism czar or someone who can say, ‘OK, you can have this attraction, but you can’t have that one because it’s not authentic.’” Lacking those restraints, the city will just have to do its best to get its message out — pirates or no.”

Ok Ollie, forget the Grog now I need a fifth of Bacardi 151 to get through this because now I am set off.

TOURISM CZAR, TOURISM CZAR – exactly who in the Sam Knicklebee’s Underworld do you think you are to expect that the White House should now have the right to decide what kind of Tourist attractions should be in place. I have spent several weekend days travelling to St Augustine’s Old Town to enjoy the attractions and eat at the premium restaurants that are there. I have seen a few shops selling Pirate clothing and there are a few “Pirate” themed attractions but trust me the influence of colonial Spanish architecture still prevail, the Old Fort still stands and only someone nit picking every minor detail could think that the city has abandoned its historical roots.

The Pirate themes are relevant to the history of a city that existed in the 1600’s in the Caribbean whether some liberal activists in the City of St. Augustine like it or not. The shops do not detract anymore than the people selling beach paraphernalia or joke post cards of 500 lb women in Bikinis.

But none of this is relevant KP. What is relevant is that I as a paying customer will decide what I think is the entertainment I like and not you, not Glenn Hastings, executive director of the Tourist Development Council, not some glee club of 40 something liberal activist housewives who married wealthy and have not had to work a day in their life. I cannot express the level to which as a libertarian economic conservative that this statement offends me.

In Conclusion, It’s the Freedom, Stupid!

I am the Individual and it is My Choice so Society can go Pound Sand for all I care. It’s called Freedom. It is what this country is founded on. The one thing that I have to myself in this life is the free time away from work and responsibilities. The last thing I want is for that to be subjected to the whims of a political bureaucrat. Again the author of Treasure Island had something to say on this subject.

“Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. “
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Wow, he foresaw Tim Giethner’s appointment way back then. Taxes are Hard, let me run the Treasury………………….

I do not know the politics of Tiger Lee, Scott and Mia Brewer, Ollie Mackerel, William Mayhem or Blackbeard and I don’t need to. They do something I can respect and feel should be protected despite their politics. They are entrepreneurs. They have come to St. Augustine, set up shop, taken the risks of their time, sweat and limited capital in order to provide services that are of value to us all. Sure its singing and magic tricks and goofy T shirts with tawdry jokes but that is what it is meant to be. In a period of time when our country may be looking at a 10% unemployment rate forever, they are bringing us the one thing that is most beneficial to the time we have to spend on this blue ball, FUN! So if they can make a living doing that then Great. If they can hire someone to help them out, Better. It beats a dreary bread line doesn’t it!

I think in the end this is why “Piracy” is such a problem to the Marxofascists. It is not the plunder or the bad deeds that we romanticize KP. It is the Freedom by which they led their lives. Pirates truly were democratic. Each man owned a share of the ship and ship’s bounty. They made their own decisions on how to lead their lives free of nattering bureaucrats deciding what is best for everyone else. We don’t need lectures on their wrongs we all reject that. The pirates we romanticize are the same “Merry Men” romanticized in Robin Hood. Realistic, No!, a good Morality tale for Children, Yes!. This then is what the “progressive” Plato’s Chosen guardians of the progressive movement despise. Big Brother can’t tolerate Thought Crimes against the State. It is the statist and not the individual that they think should decide!

As for Ol’ Indy,

Yo Ho, Ho, Ho, It’s a Capitalist’s Life for Me!…………….


Auguste Ballz said...

Indy, this is a seriously good post. This belongs in a local St. Aug. or surrounding area newspaper. Submit it to someone.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said....Here, here!!!!

Anonymous said...

As a member of The Ancient City Privateer's..well said, and if you haven't already...come see us soon and have a cup of grog with us!!!!!!

Individualist said...


I am honored and I think I will edo more than that. I think that I may just take you up on that.

Anonymous said...

Aye! There are still sane and realistic people in the world! Thank you GOD!

AndrewPrice said...

"St. Arrrgustine" -- Brilliant!!

Nice article Individualist. You make a lot of great connections between the past and the present.

This reminds me a lot of when people were upset about Disney creating a historical park (based on colonial times) in Virginia. All the liberals were horrified because they thought that Disney wouldn't include all the horrible, evil, nasty parts from that time period. In the end, Disney cancelled the project because of all the protests.

Anonymous said...

It is good to see someone who puts in some fore thought and background before they put their hands to the keyboard.
Let me know when you will be around the first round is on me.

Olie Mackerel

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